This week I popped my fashion cherry at my very first runway show. I also faced-off an Anna Wintour look-a-like fashionista over a goody bag…and lost.

Busy-and-important-husband scored the two VIP tickets to the Mercedes-Benz Sydney Fashion Festival because apparently he’s the kind of guy people like to impress.

He was clearly off his game when he suggested I take my friend ‘to look at the pretty dresses’; later he would slap his forehead when he remembered the beautiful models required to show off those pretty dresses.

Not only was I going to play ‘fashion VIP’ with my dear old friend who I rarely get to see, I was also going to wear my brand new, super sheik, Scanlan and Theodore dress – a rare and expensive treat.

On fashion show day, I put on my new dress and looked into the mirror to admire its stylish sleek lines. When I turned sideways however, those sleek lines became more ‘rolling hills’, thanks to the lazy bowl of cereal I ate for lunch, followed by a ‘pasta chaser’ in the afternoon – my children’s leftovers.

My cereal and pasta belly probably wasn’t the best accessory for a fashion show, but regardless, I sucked it in, and off we went: two old friends who rarely see the lights of Sydney together, happily skipping up Sydney’s Town Hall stairs, pasta and cereal belly leading the way.

We smugly joined the ‘VIP and Partner’ line to pick up our tickets, which we were delighted to learn, gave us access to a VIP section. We sauntered in (ok, more giggled and wobbled in on our heels that don’t get much of a run these days) and found a place to stand at the back of the room.

We stood there pretending not to gawk at the beautiful people sipping cocktails around the illuminated bar, and gratefully accepting the food the waitress offered. Thankfully my friend plunged forward to catch some relish that dripped from my mini-burger just before it landed on my new dress.

The beautiful people around me didn’t seem to have the same problems juggling their food as me – no one else seemed very hungry?

As I wiped tomato ketchup from my face, a ‘fashion show person’ came over to politely tell us the show would start soon, reminding us to collect our goody bags from the VIP counter before we entered the show room.

Our eyes grew wide, and my jaw would have dropped if it hadn’t been for the mini-burger stuffed inside. Goody bag? No one mentioned a goody bag!

We whispered to each other, urging restraint: stay calm, act cool, and whatever you do, don’t rush.

We casually walked up to the counter, and just as I was about to show the girl my ticket to prove I was indeed a VIP, I felt myself being nudged sideways. A middle-aged lady sporting an Anna Wintour bob and matching scowl, shoved her ticket out in front of mine.

“Do you mind?” I said in my best I’m-a-VIP-too-you-know voice*, flicking my hair and pushing my ticket past hers and into the hand of the goody bag girl.

“Ah. I’m really sorry,” said the goody bag girl frowning at my ticket.

“But this ticket doesn’t entitle you to a goody bag,” she said.

Suddenly the room felt hot and my armpits tingled.

“Oh, really? It’s just that the other girl told us…”

“Never mind!” said my friend pulling me away from the counter as I felt Anna’s evil smiling eyes burning into the back of my head.

At that point we scurried out of the VIP section, past the goody-bag clutching VIP guests and into the showroom to take our seats…in the very back row, no less. But we didn’t care.

When I looked down I could see the scowling Anna Wintour look-alike sitting in the front row alone, goody bag on the ground next to her Christian Louboutin** shoes. Thankfully, I didn’t need a goody bag to have a fun night (although I’m still curious about what was inside). I had my buddy, my new dress, and my warm and content tummy.

PS. Yes, I did actually take in the show. Alex Perry you are divine…

*I may have said this in my head
**Honestly, I didn’t have had a clue what her shoes were…I just Googled designer shoes…