As some of you might know, Boy-Who-Asks-Questions started school this year – a Catholic school. I won’t go into the reasons why we chose a Catholic school, because I’ve already been over that ground here in my article on The Hoopla.

Let’s just say I wasn’t brought up in a religious family (my husband is the Catholic) so the decision to send my child to a religious school wasn’t as easy for me as it was for him.

I’m delighted to report that my son’s teachers have been very gentle with the overwhelming concept of religion. Learning and caring for each other is the number one priority. So, as I pointed out in my article, I feel that my initial nerves or uncertainty were unwarranted. 

One Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago we had friends and their children over for a barbecue. As the adults sat chatting and drinking wine on the balcony, the kids played in another room, rehearsing a ‘show’ they wanted to put on for us. 

During our chat, our friends revealed they weren’t happy with the school they had chosen for their daughter, who is the same age as Boy-Who-Asks-Questions. They were seriously considering moving her and inquired about my son’s school.

“Oh it’s wonderful! He’s loving it and is thriving there,” I gushed.

“But, what about the religious side?” one of them asked.

“Well, yes, I was unsure about that in the beginning. But it’s been a really positive experience so far,” I said.

“It’s not like it’s shoved down their throat. Definitely nothing like going to school in Ireland,” Busy-And-Important-Husband said.

Our friends looked at each other.

“Well, she was baptized Catholic,” one of them said. “Maybe we should consider it?”

“Oh you should. It’s such a beautiful school. Seriously, I can’t recommend it enough. And the religious element is gentle and loving, and teaches them some really good values,” I reassured.

At that point, the rumble of our kids’ feet interrupted us as they tumbled onto the balcony to tell us it was show time and we were required to move into the lounge room. 

The kids were poised with musical instruments in their hands…except for Boy-Who-Asks-Questions.

He was wearing a cape, holding a large stick and had a baby doll in his arms.

And that’s when the show commenced.

“Lord hear us now!” he bellowed to the sky as the kids started banging, strumming and tooting their instruments. “Let us pray for this child,” he yelled holding the doll up like some kind of sacrificial lamb.

“Oh dear. This is going to be interesting,” Busy-And-Important-Husband muttered under his breath.

Boy-Who-Asks-Questions put down his stick and picked up his water bottle, proceeding to pour water on the doll’s head.

“With this water I…I…what was it again mum?” he called over to me.

“Baptize darling.”  I turned to our friends, who at this stage were looking ‘politely surprised’. “There was a baptism at this morning’s family mass,” I explained to them, giggling nervously.

“Sweetheart. Why don’t you put the baby down and sing us a song?” He turned around and started rummaging through a toy box. The other performers took his temporary distraction as an opportunity to take centre stage, clanging, tooting and strumming even more loudly.

When he realised he was losing the spotlight, Boy-Who-Asks-Questions grabbed the nearest toy at the top of the pile – a small Guinness Toucan Bird (what can I say, my husband is Irish) and pushed his way in front of the other children again.

“Everyone! Everyone! We need to pray for this bird. Say it with me, LORD HEAR US…”

Suddenly it was all too much for three-year-old Little Fairy who ended her brother’s performance with an almighty shove.

It was the first time I had ever condoned violence between my children.

“Well, that was fun,” I said, smiling weakly at our guests.

Funnily enough, my friends never did move their daughter from her school. In fact, they’ve just announced they are moving overseas.

Talk about freaking your friends out.

Postscript: While clearly my son’s godly performance is the not the driving force behind my friends’ motivation to leave the country, I’m equally pleased to report my son’s obsession with preaching has moved on. He is now obsessed with the Octonauts and making that really annoying Octonaut siren noise. I’m not sure what’s more unnerving really…