Last week I went to a business-networking event to listen to a successful businessperson share her success story. I won’t name who it was, but she certainly enjoys a remarkable career as a self-made entrepreneur.
She was a great presenter and very likeable. I guess you would describe her as your quintessential motivational speaker echoing messages around the conference room like:
“You just have to love what you do!”
“All it takes is self belief – confidence is everything!”
“If I can do it, you can do it!”
Her audience was captivated. As I looked around the room people sat on the edge of their seats, soaking in her words, in hope they too would follow her down the path to overnight success.
“All my dreams can come true if only I have the courage to pursue them…”
How many times have you walked out of a session like that pumping your fist in the air singing “I am the greatest” like Mohammed Ali, before logging onto Facebook and sharing your favourite ‘follow your dreams’ meme?
But then a few months later you look up from your day-job desk, rub your sore neck and realize not much has changed in your life. That’s because when it comes to the inspiration success stories, not everyone is giving you the full picture.
You’re not always told about the fortunate connections – people in the know, or people who can introduce you to the people in the know.
You’re not always told about the security of a high-salary earning partner that can keep a family’s financial wheels in motion.
You’re not always told about the support of family living close by that can pitch in and help with the kids, the house…whatever it takes to keep your head above water while you chase the seemingly impossible.
All items of pure circumstance.
But things that enable some of us to take bigger, bolder steps towards our dreams than others.
At the same time you’re not always told about the sacrifices – the sleep deprivation, the time away from the family, the marriage breakups.
A friend of mine is a journalist. While she’s happy being a journalist, her passion is creative writing – all she wants to do is give her day job and write books. And I know she’d be good. She’d be amazing, in fact.
But she can’t. She can’t just give up her day job because she has a mortgage to pay, a child to feed and groceries to pay.
“Look, I could give up the day job and eat baked beans for my art, but that wouldn’t be fair on my son and my husband. I’m tired of people telling me to just follow my dreams. If only it was that easy!” she said to me.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that those in fortunate circumstances have it easy and don’t deserve their success. Regardless of their circumstance, I have no doubt they have worked tirelessly to turn their dreams into reality.
I just wish that when they spruik their stories to us – enticing us to believe ‘it could be you too’ – they were a little more honest.
That way the rest of us can stop questioning our own talents and beating ourselves up when we find ourselves returning to our ‘day-job’ desk yet again to meet the demands of day-to-day life.
And I’m definitely not chopping down tall poppies here. I have no doubt there are people who have worked tirelessly and taken massive risks to follow their dreams without any backup and in difficult circumstances.
In fact I LOVE hearing those stories. They’re the stories I WANT to hear. They are people I can learn from and be inspired by.
Like Alexandra Cain said in this article, I want to hear the real stories about those dreams that do come true.
John James says
March 18, 2015 at 8:25 amI call bullshit on anyone who says things like “You can do anything. All you need to do is want it enough, and work hard. Follow your dreams.”
Bullshit – bullshit – bullshit.
Nearly every one of these people has started from a point of privilege – middle-class success – people who already had enough security behind them to be able to take the time to build their success…
I’m the same – I’m able to pursue my dream of becoming a published writer because I spent 20 years working for it – paying off the mortgage, and building up enough assets that I feel secure enough to only work a four-day week. Secure enough to pursue a dream that will not provide me with a lot of financial rewards.
It’s taken a lot of boring work to get to the point where I can follow my dreams…
Jodie Ansted says
March 18, 2015 at 4:49 pmYeah, I’ve never been a fan of those motivational speaker type thingies. I remember having to go to one for work many, many years ago, and I spent most of my time watching people’s reactions. I find it just too rah, rah, rah…YOU CAN DO IT, all American for my liking. (One guy from work spent, like, $1000 on a bunch of motivational cassette tapes – yes, it was the late 80s – and I wonder if he ended up making his fortune eventually?) Like you said, often the full story isn’t being told.
xox
Te says
March 19, 2015 at 9:01 amThanks Lisa for the nicely told way it is for most of us with
“star- dust in our eyes” –
Intrepid Dreamers All, who take a leap of faith
like a bungy jumper; hoping everyone else has done/
is doing, their bit to keep the rope secure.
With a shutoff going on in the brain department,
I can jump off the cliff with nothing to hold on to
except a fistful of hopes based on assessments;
‘Did they tie it properly? Am I crazy? Will someone save me?
Will this kill me? Can I survive till next year/ next month/ hell
just spare me right now- I promise I’ll be a good girl from now on!’
And what a relief when that biff moment arrives and
voila! Live another day…
Bele @ BlahBlah says
April 3, 2015 at 9:31 pmWell said. This is why I loved Malcom Gladwell’s book Outliers it breaks down the myth of the self made ‘man’ and how really it is about hard work, community support and fortunate circumstances and often those ‘fortunate’ circumstances don’t look fortunate at first.
I think I know the woman who you are referring to and yes, she is lovely, but she also fits into the same truth of what Gladwell talks about. She worked hard for a long time in a related field, had good family and staff support, took several chances and one paid off very well. This is not to be dismissive, quite the contrary I applaud the hard work, grit and courage, but I do prefer the real story to the myth of the over night success x
Tracy says
May 11, 2015 at 7:16 amOMG Finally someone who sees this predicament and is not afraid to say it for fear of being “negative”.
I have been trying to start a new career for years .. done the study, all the hard work, but it always comes down to – I have no support, and I don’t mean people saying good on you.. I mean real life support.. money.. The bills keep coming whilst you are working ridiculous hours to build a new dream business.. Who will pay the mortgage , feed the kids, support the masses.. My bread and butter job is a necessity.. my dream job is just that.. a dream.