I never knew giving birth could be ‘extremely peaceful’. ‘Emotional’? Yes…definitely ‘emotional’. But ‘extremely peaceful’?
Those were the words used by Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z to describe the birth of their first child in an official statement issued this week
Ever since I’ve read this statement, I’ve been scratching my head.
I’ve done it twice. Give birth that is. And while both times were amazing, they definitely weren’t peaceful.
I’d describe my birthing experiences more like…painful, tiring, sweaty, stretchy, eye-popping, gob-smacking, heave-ho’ing, face-slapping, don’t-touch-me-I’m-never-having-sex-with-you-again, overwhelming, gushy, messy, thank-god-that’s-over…ordeals.
But peaceful?
Well, apart from when it’s over and the endorphins erase all memory of the pain from your brain while you hold your little bundle in your arms. Yes, that’s kind of peaceful. And wonderful.
But when it comes to dilating a birth canal and pushing something through it the size of a watermelon – peaceful is not a word that springs to mind. For me anyway.
The first time I gave birth I pooped myself. Yep. May as well get it all out on the table, because folks, that’s what happens (as many of you probably well know). That is the reality of childbirth.
The second time, I was in one of those hospital beds that maneuver into different positions at the press of a button. Every time I pushed (as in ‘heave’) my elbow kept pressing the button to make the bed go flat.
Sitting up. Lying down. Sitting up. Lying down.
The mid-wife kept blaming my husband. To be fair to her, she was quite a bit frantic because baby number two decided to come out faster than the obstetrician could run down the hallway.
So, back to that word: peaceful.
I’m actually fond of Beyonce and her music, and I’m delighted she had a beautiful baby girl, especially if she experienced heartache in the lead-up to having her first child. I don’t want to make light of any of that.
So if she did have a peaceful birth, fair play to her. I’m just curious why she (or her PR people) decided to use the world peaceful when for so many of us it’s not?
Was it to remind us mere mortals that when it comes to childbirth celebrities are above the rest of us? The same way supermodels like to publicize their post baby bodies. “Oh me and my fast metabolism,” they shrug as they chew on their hand.
For some bizarre reason, women like to compete with each other when it comes to all things babies. We can’t help ourselves.
“When did your baby sleep through the night?”
“How long did you breastfeed for?”
“Did you have an epidural?”
“How quick was your delivery?”
“How peaceful was your delivery?”
“Are you back in your old clothes yet?”
Oh, please. Can’t we just give each other a break?
So if you had a loud ‘screamy’ type of delivery where you pooped yourself just before splitting your bits apart – I high-five you my friend. But if you did have a peaceful birth, tell me, which part of the prenatal class did I miss?
Kelly Exeter says
January 10, 2012 at 9:27 pmHmm I don’t know – some of the water births I have seen on TV look kind of ‘peaceful’.
My one birthing experience was erm … rough so I always look at these water births and think how cool it would be to do it that way!
But back to Beyonce – the question here is: why did her PR hacks decide they needed to describe the birth at all?
All the info anyone needs is “Beyonce and Jay Z are happy to announce the safe arrival of _________ {insert silly name that is going to get her teased at school here}”
Penny says
January 10, 2012 at 10:09 pmBirth #1 was anything but peaceful. At one point, WD counted 9 medical staff in the room. They only told us afterwards I nearly died. Oh. Ok.
Birth #2 was peaceful, I fell asleep watching the cricket after a rocking epidural (although it could have been the result of watching the cricket too) and was woken up to start pushing because the head was coming out. But then I pooped myself too, which took the feeling of peace and serenity away a little.
Mrs Woog says
January 11, 2012 at 3:22 amScreaming 48 hours of labour, massive fight with my mum then a c-section. Not peaceful.
Maxabella says
January 11, 2012 at 3:39 amPretty sure she must have had a planned CS under a general. That would be peaceful… x
Gia says
January 11, 2012 at 3:40 amEpidural,perhaps? I’ve never given birth, but I’m hoping if I ever do, they’ll have developed some real high quality drugs that don’t require a needle in the spine because I don’t like pain.
Marissa @ Beautifully Organised says
January 11, 2012 at 3:53 amMy first was peaceful… While my epidural was working. The rest was, well, I’d rather not remember. Daughter came out healthy though so very grateful. My second was peaceful.. It was a planned c section. Daughter came out healthy too, so very lucky then too. Amazing what we can handle when we need to xx
Cat says
January 11, 2012 at 4:42 amNot peaceful AT ALL for me & I know Maxabella was joking but I had a c-section under general & that was possibly the most traumatic experience of my life that will take me years to get over.
Tinkertines says
January 11, 2012 at 5:04 amMy first was peaceful, my labour was long but slow & I eased into the worst while having a chance to get used to the pain. When it was too much I got an epidural, i then felt exactly when I was supposed to push, without the pain. I have fond memories of the entire process. My mistake was to expect the same with bub #2. The exact opposite of peaceful.
Jodie Ansted says
January 15, 2012 at 10:59 pmLet’s see….were my births peaceful? Hmmmm
Bahahahahaha… Beyonce, you big kidder, you. 😉
PS LOVE the new you!
MaidInAustralia says
January 23, 2012 at 5:43 amHa ha ha, I thought the same thing when that statement was announced. Who has a peaceful birth? Only a celebrity, clearly!